


Not alone

by Port_in_a_Storm



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Boyfriends in love, Established Relationship, Gen, M/M, Mentions of Robert's chest wound, Robert's lack of communication, Very much false medical stuff, health scare, nothing terrible, unlikely friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-29
Updated: 2016-08-29
Packaged: 2018-08-11 20:39:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,181
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7906948
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Port_in_a_Storm/pseuds/Port_in_a_Storm
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Robert collapses, the least likely person comes to his rescue. Robert is reluctant to tell Aaron about his health scare but, as is inevitable, he will find out.</p>
<p>Based on a tumblr prompt</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not alone

**Author's Note:**

> Hi all! Sorry I've been off the fanfic radar for a while: I was working last week, and had no time to write. This fic is based on this marvelous prompt: "Can you write a fic where Robert has a health scare but hides it from Aaron and is secretly going to the doctors and getting treatment because he doesn't want Aaron through any more hassle but Aaron finds a letter or pills and fears the worst (that it's terminal?) And confronts Robert about. With Robert being like, 'you had so much going on, I didn't think you'd be that bothered' basically Aaron showing how much he cares about Rob."
> 
> I hope you all enjoy this. Little disclaimer: this is very much not true, completely falsified and inaccurate medical stuff. I just needed something that wasn't overly serious to happen to Robert; something that he could hide fairly easily from Aaron.

Aaron was gone before Robert woke up. That was becoming more and more frequent, but with Holey Scrap suddenly taking a little bit of a nosedive (mainly thanks to the sudden drop in capital in the country, though Aaron somehow found a way of pinning it on himself) it was understandable. Robert blinked himself awake and rolled onto his boyfriend’s side of the bed, trying to get every last bit of warmth he could, and smelling the faint, sharp tang of sweat on the sheets. 

He shivered as the cold November air breezed through the window and he pulled the duvet up around himself. He heard movement and Liv’s door opening down the hall, followed by Chas’s door and her telling Liv not to be long in the bathroom. Robert sighed and pulled the pillow over his head. Another day.

****

‘Nasty cough you’ve got there,’ Charity commented. She took a step away from him. ‘You’re not coming down with something, are you?’

He rolled his eyes. ‘If I am it’s only because it’s getting below freezing in this place.’ He poured a mug of coffee and a mug of tea into two thermal flasks. ‘And thanks for your concern.’

‘Oh, calm down. It’s not like you’re dying.’

‘Good riddance if he was,’ said Liv cheekily from the table. She grinned to show she was joking.

Robert chuckled. ‘You’d miss me, really.’

‘No chance.’ She shrugged. ‘But I suppose that Aaron’s mopey face would be hell to live with.’

Accepting the slight compliment, and the fact that she was (hopefully) kidding, Robert smiled and ruffled her hair on the way out the kitchen. As soon as he went outside, he shivered as a chill cut straight through him. He pulled his jacket around himself and ran to his car, waiting a few moments for it to heat up before he drove off.

****

Aaron and Adam were both in the portacabin when he arrived. He put the flask of tea on Aaron’s table and accepted his grateful smile. ‘What time did you leave this morning?’ Robert asked, sitting to his own desk on the other side of the cabin.

His boyfriend shrugged. ‘Half eight.’

Adam frowned. ‘No, you didn’t mate. _I_ was here at quarter past eight, and you were already here.’

Robert stopped ruffling through his paper work to stare at Aaron. ‘You left before eight? Aaron, you need to slow down!’

‘I’m fine!’ Aaron objected. He gestured to the papers on his desk. ‘I just needed to get these done.’

‘They’d still be there no matter what time you got in, you know,’ Adam said.

Robert gestured at him. ‘For once, he’s speaking sense. Seriously, Baby, you need to take care of yourself.’

Aaron sighed. Robert could hear his exasperation. ‘I _am_ taking care of myself,’ he said. ‘But this stuff won’t do itself.’

Adam and Robert caught each others’ eyes. Silently, they agreed to drop it, but they both promised themselves to keep a better eye on Aaron regardless. 

Robert took a sip of his coffee, but was interrupted by a cough, as bad as this morning in the kitchen. Aaron looked up. ‘You alright?’

He nodded, but coughed again. He could feel his lungs wheezing. ‘Yeah, f-fine,’ he said when it had calmed down. ‘Must be coming down with something.’

‘It _is_ freezing in here,’ Aaron said. He pulled his coat off and walked to Robert’s desk. ‘Here.’

Robert looked at it. ‘What?’

‘Take it.’

‘I’m not gonna take your coat, Aaron,’ Robert chuckled.

‘Yeah, well I think you should, so.’

‘And I think you should be taking it easy,’ Robert retaliated. He softened his glare when Aaron narrowed his eyes. ‘I’m fine, alright. It’s just a cold, that’s all.’ Aaron sighed and shook his head. ‘Don’t shake your head at me! You’re just as stubborn as I am; worse sometimes.’

Aaron shrugged the coat back on when Robert seemed adamant that he wouldn’t take it.

‘When you two are finished your little domestic,’ Adam said with an amused lilt to his voice. ‘We have a car and couple white goods to pick up from Hotten.’

‘What, _both_ of you need to go?!’

‘Yeah, sorry.’ Adam did sound sorry. ‘Just, we found some of the guys don’t like to help us load the truck, so it’s a struggle for just one of us.’

‘We’ll be back in a couple hours, though.’ 

Adam picked up a sheet of paper detailing the collection, and Aaron was about to follow him out when Robert called him back. ‘Be careful, yeah?’ he said softly. He stood up and pulled his boyfriend against his chest. ‘I know you’ve been pushing yourself lately, and I know the reason why, but—’

‘Liv deserves a good Christmas this year,’ Aaron interrupted him.

‘I’m not saying she’s doesn’t.’ Robert ran his hand down Aaron’s arm soothingly. ‘But I think she’d rather have her brother healthy and whole, than for you to hurt yourself doing all sorts for the business.’ Aaron nodded, but Robert could see from his face that he was non-committal about his agreement. He sighed. Stubborn as a mule. ‘Give me a kiss before you go. I missed it this morning.’

That made Aaron smile, and they moved together, their lips meeting in a kiss. Robert pulled him closer and deepened the kiss. But Aaron pulled away. ‘I have to go,’ he said, voice hoarse. 

‘Look after yourself, yeah?’ 

‘You too. Be careful with that cough.’ Aaron pushed himself away from his boyfriend and went outside.

Robert sat at the desk, feeling a little empty; a little winded.

****

The cough was getting progressively worse, and even with gloves on and drawing his coat around him more, the cold got to him. He had got a text from Aaron half an hour ago to let him know that the client was running late, so he and Adam would be staying in Hotten for lunch, and Robert considered going home. But knowing that the paperwork wouldn’t do itself, he’d stuck around for a while longer. Now he wished he hadn’t.

A particularly bad bout of coughing caught him by surprise. Robert reached for the now cold coffee on his desk, anything to try and stop the hacking cough that rattled his chest. It didn’t work. He kept on coughing, gasping for breath. He got up, not knowing what he wanted to do, but just wanting to move. He felt breathless, his chest hurt. He leant against his desk, but then collapsed.

****

‘—ert! Robert!’

He opened his eyes to Jimmy’s concerned face. 

‘What…’ he said weakly.

‘Oh, thank god!’ the man sighed. ‘I’d thought the worst when I saw you lying there.’ He moved back when Robert tried sitting up. When the younger man fell back, he grabbed his arm and helped him lean against the desk. Robert breathed heavily, feeling his chest constrict. He swallowed back another cough.

‘I didn’t know you troubled with asthma,’ Jimmy remarked. He still knelt in front of Robert, as if expecting him to collapse again.

Robert frowned. ‘I don’t.’

‘Oh. Right. It’s just from the way you were breathing just then, it sounded like that.’

He shook his head. ‘It’s just a cold, that’s all.’

‘People don’t usually collapse just from a cold, Robert.’

Getting aggravated by Jimmy’s nagging, Robert pushed himself to his feet. His legs were shaking. ‘It was a one-off,’ he said. ‘I’m fine.’ But when he breathed in the cold air again, he started to cough.

‘Easy, easy.’ Jimmy rubbed his back, staring at him in concern. ‘Let me call Aaron,’ he said, reaching for Robert’s phone.

‘No!’ He grabbed Jimmy by the arm. ‘No, I’m fine. Don’t—you don’t need to call him. He has enough to worry about.’

‘He’d want to know. You _know_ that.’

‘When did you turn into such an old woman, Jimmy?’

‘I must have learned from Edna.’ That made Robert smile slightly. ‘Let me take you to the hospital at least.’

‘Why? So they can tell me I’ve got a cough? No, I’m fine. Thanks for the concern.’ He straightened and tried breathing again, but was overcome once more.

Jimmy held him up, and Robert was glad of it, though he’d never admit it. His legs were shaking from breathlessness and panic. ‘Are you sure?’ he asked. ‘I learned how to nag from Nicola, you know. And she _never_ lets things go. At least let me take you to Dr Cavanagh.’

Robert looked at him, and weighed seeing a doctor now against waiting and having Aaron worry about him when he collapsed again. It wasn’t a choice really. ‘Okay,’ he said finally, nodding. ‘Dr Cavanagh, though. I don’t need A&E or anything.’

‘Okay. Come on.’ 

****

One of the good things about living in such a small village, Robert supposed, was that he didn’t have to go over his physical conditions. Dr Cavanagh listened to his chest, listened to his cough, and then nodded. ‘It’s nothing to worry about, Robert,’ he said. ‘It’s usual for people with… chest problems to suffer more in the winter months.’ Chest problems. Even now, months after he and Andy had reached some kind of truce, the manifestation of his hatred was still haunting him.

‘So what can I do?’

‘Not a lot, I’m afraid. Just keep your wound covered as much as you can against the cold. I’ll prescribe you tablets to ward off infections, and an inhaler to help you breathe better when you have a coughing fit. It’s not for use all the time, though, only when you feel you can’t breathe.’ He wrote a prescription for him and signed it. ‘Come back for check-ups every week, so I can see how the tablets are doing.’

‘Will do. Anything else?’

Cavanagh shook his head. ‘Ultimately, it’s down to your own immune system to fight off the cold.’

Robert nodded. ‘Fine.’ He took the paper and left. Outside, in the waiting room, he found Jimmy leafing through a magazine. ‘What are you still doing here?’ he asked.

‘I didn’t want to leave you on your own,’ Jimmy said. He put the magazine back on the table. ‘So? What’s the verdict?’

‘A cold, but worse because of my chest.’ He touched the wound, knowing where it was even under his shirt.

‘Ah.’ Jimmy looked uncomfortable for a moment, before he smiled again. ‘At least now you know,’ he said. ‘And it’s nothing life threatening.’

‘Yeah. I’ve got a prescription to collect. You can go if you want, though.’

‘No, I don’t mind waiting. Gets me out of doing work for a bit as well.’

Robert laughed in spite of himself and, after giving his paper to the pharmacy in the clinic, took a seat next to Jimmy.

‘So, what else did he say?’

‘He’s giving me an inhaler, and I have to come back for check-ups.’

‘That’s not so bad. _Now_ will you tell Aaron?’

The thought had crossed his mind, but then Aaron would insist on coming to the check-ups with him, thus missing work, and then he’d feel even worse about himself. No, his boyfriend didn’t need that kind of stress right now. He shook his head. ‘It’s not really worth bothering him about it,’ he said.

‘ _Robert_ ,’ Jimmy as good as scolded. ‘You know he’d want to know. And what about if he finds out on his own?’

‘Then I’ll tell him it was nothing to worry about. And right now, there _isn’t_ anything to worry about.’

They sat in silence for a while, listening to the chatter of the nurses, the door swinging open as new patients entered the waiting room. Then, Jimmy said, ‘I’ll come with you.’

Robert laughed. ‘You what?’

‘I’ll come with you,’ he repeated. ‘It’d be better than you going on your own.’

‘We’re not friends, Jimmy.’

‘I know. But… well I know that when I’m away, Nico likes having Dan or Rodney around as moral support.’

Robert felt a clench in his stomach. He’d never (outside of Aaron, Vic and Diane) had anyone who thought of him enough to want to be around for moral support. He smiled at Jimmy. ‘Thanks, but honestly, I’ll be fine.’

****

That night, before Aaron got home from the scrapyard, Robert put the tablets and the inhaler into his drawer, one that Aaron never went to. He wasn’t hiding it, he told himself, because it wasn’t really a _secret_. Aaron just didn’t need to know. He pulled the hoodie—borrowed from Aaron’s part of the wardrobe—tighter around himself, but still felt a cough well up in his chest. Luckily it passed without having to reach for the inhaler. He heard the back door of the pub open and went downstairs to greet his boyfriend.

****

Days later, and Robert was really feeling the effects of the cold weather on his immune system. His cough had developed a lot more, and he had started sneezing. All of that just added to the cold on his chest, though he tried valiantly to stop Aaron contracting it as well, even going so far as suggesting he go to Vic’s at night (which Aaron completely objected to as soon as Robert suggested it).

Once again, he was in the portacabin when a coughing fit struck again. This time Aaron was in the café, getting a late breakfast.

‘You alright?’ Jimmy asked, sitting at his own desk whilst Robert set up on Aaron’s for a bit. 

Robert nodded but it was clear that he was having trouble breathing. He searched for his inhaler in the pockets of his coat, but couldn’t find it. Then, the panic started to hit and that made him even more breathless, making him cough and splutter even more.

‘Robert! Breathe, just breathe!’ Jimmy had leapt out of his seat and was patting Robert on the back, as if he was choking on a piece of food, not having his air cut off because of a bullet wound to the chest. Robert tried to shake him off. ‘Your inhaler! Where is it?’

He managed to struggle in enough air to gasp out ‘home’, and as soon as he did, Jimmy had grabbed him by the elbow and walked him to his car. ‘Just keep breathing, as deep as you can.’ Had he not been coughing, his vision blurring and starting to grey at the edges, Robert would have sent him a withering glance, because what did Jimmy _think_ he was doing?

It felt like hours, but could only have been a few minutes before Jimmy pulled up outside the pub. He opened Robert’s door and helped him into the back room. The coughing had stopped, and Robert was starting to be able to breathe properly, but he knew he needed the safety of the inhaler in his hand before he could start to calm down. 

It was exactly where he had left it, in the drawer under his shirts. He didn’t often forget it, but remembering how Aaron had dragged Robert on top of him that morning (still half asleep, but waking up soon enough) and made them late in the process, it was no guess why he had forgotten it. 

He used the inhaler and breathed in deeply, trying to calm down. He didn’t know if was psychological or if it really did help him, but whatever it was, he’d take it. 

‘Better?’ 

Robert started slightly, forgetting in his panic that Jimmy was standing in their room. He wiped his eyes which were streaming from coughing so much. He nodded. ‘Yeah. Thanks.’ He breathed experimentally again, and was relieved when it didn’t rasp in his throat. 

It was lucky, really, that everyone was out and so not around to ask awkward questions. Not for the first time, he considered telling Aaron, but once again dismissed it. Only last night, he was talking about Liv feeling down about this being the first Christmas without her Mum, and he was so worried about making her feel at home with him and Robert. In the car back to the scrapyard, however, Robert cleared his throat. ‘Does… does your offer still stand?’ he asked.

‘Offer?’

‘About coming with me to the check-ups.’

Jimmy grinned. ‘Of course it does! What made you change your mind?’

Because he didn’t like the thought of doing this alone, and no matter how much he wished Aaron could be the one by his side, he knew that he didn’t want to weigh him down with more worry. Because despite this being such a _non-problem_ Robert didn’t want to go it alone. He shrugged and said nothing, but Jimmy seemed to understand.

Aaron and Adam had returned by the time they got back to the portacabin. His boyfriend gave him a look, but Robert smiled it off and didn’t explain himself or lie to Aaron.

****  
TWO WEEKS LATER…

****

‘Last appointment next week then,’ Jimmy said, as they got into the car.

Robert nodded. ‘Yeah. Thank god.’ It was getting tiring lying to Aaron about where he had been each time he disappeared, or whenever he got back to the scrapyard to see his boyfriend looking at him as if he was waiting for an explanation that Robert was never going to give him.

To be honest, he was glad for Jimmy’s company the past two weeks. Nothing, of course, would have compared to having Aaron for support, but Jimmy was an impartial, kind-hearted man, and Robert found it strangely easy to talk to him. 

‘It’s gonna be weird,’ Jimmy was saying to him, dragging him back to the present, ‘not having this hour a week.’

Robert smirked. ‘Jimmy, we _work in the same place_.’ He softened his voice when the man’s smile dropped. ‘But, if you’re really that fussed, we can meet for a pint every now and again.’

‘That’d be nice. It’s been good, having someone to talk to about Nico as well: about how she’s coping and everything.’

They really had developed a bit of a bond over the past two weeks. Robert didn’t know if he’d go as far as ‘friends’, but there was definitely more to them now than just acquaintances or work colleagues.

Arriving at the scrapyard, Robert’s shoulders immediately stiffened when he saw Aaron’s car there. Jimmy’s phone started to ring. ‘You carry on in,’ he said, looking at the screen. ‘It’s Nicola, so I’d best take this.’ Robert nodded and got out of the car, walking as slowly as he could to the portacabin. He put on his best smile for his boyfriend, sat at the desk opposite his, and started on the paperwork. 

He felt Aaron’s eyes on him most of the afternoon.

****

‘It’s weird… he’s been disappearing, not explaining himself,’ Aaron shook his head. ‘I don’t know. It’s just…’

‘Aaron, mate, Robert wouldn’t cheat on you, you _know_ that,’ Adam said.

They were in the pub, chatting over their pints at the bar. Aaron’s eyes were downcast and he shook his head. ‘I know, but I’ve been so busy at work and with Liv lately. I just don’t want him to think that I don’t care about him.’

‘Have you spoken to him about it?’ Aaron said nothing and Adam threw his head back in annoyance. ‘Of course you haven’t! Honestly, Vic’s right you know: the two of you need your heads bashing together.’

Aaron smiled a little, but his eyes filled with tears. ‘What if he is, though? He just… keeps disappearing almost every week and I try to pretend that I don’t notice, but—’

‘You talking about your Robert?’ Nicola said beside them.

Adam glared at her. ‘Err, private conversation, if you don’t mind!’

Nicola raised her eyebrows. ‘Alright! I was just gonna say that Jimmy’s been disappearing as well.’ She grinned. ‘Hey, maybe they’re having an affair!’

Aaron frowned, but then looked stricken. Nicola, noticing the look, stuttered. ‘I-I was only joking! I mean—Jimmy’s not gay! Or bisexual!’

But Aaron ignored her and strode into the back room, ignoring Adam calling him back. It had to be more than coincidence that Jimmy and Robert were disappearing together, and he knew from that that Robert wasn’t playing away, but there had to be another reason; something else that his boyfriend wasn’t telling him. 

In a panic, Aaron went to their room and started hunting for something, anything that could shed some light on the situation. He looked in drawers, under the bed, in Robert’s bedside cabinet but nothing. Then, he noticed a torn up piece of paper in the bin. His hands shaking, he retrieved the pieces, but when he saw the words ‘clinic’ and ‘check-up’ his heart plummeted. 

Cancer.

That was his first thought. His eyes filled with tears and his breath came in short, shallow gasps. What if it was cancer? David had hid it for so long, maybe Robert was as well. Maybe Jimmy knew about it, and that’s why they kept disappearing together. He was caught between feeling hurt that Robert could keep a secret like that from him, hurt that _Jimmy_ of all people seemed to know about it, and terrified of what a diagnosis like that could mean for Robert.

He was still holding the pieces, tears falling down his face, when the door opened and Robert ran in.

‘Baby? Adam said you… what’s wrong? Aaron?’

Aaron looked up at him. ‘What’s this?’ he asked, his voice small and trembling.

‘What’s what?’

Aaron suddenly stood and shoved the pieces of paper into Robert’s hands. ‘This! What the hell is _this_? You’re going for check-ups? Please,’ he backed up a step and put a hand to his mouth. ‘Please, don’t say it’s cancer.’

‘Cancer?! Aaron, no! No, of course it isn’t! Come here!’ Robert reached for his boyfriend and drew him into his arms. ‘Of course it isn’t, Baby. God, you’re shaking.’ He kissed the top of Aaron’s head. ‘I’m so, so sorry. I didn’t mean for you to find that. Or to come to _that_ conclusion.’

‘So what is it then?’

‘It’s just a cold. Nothing else.’

‘A cold? Robert, people don’t go for check-ups for _colds_.’

‘I have to. Because of my chest. The damage to the lung makes it worse in the cold weather.’

Aaron drew back and searched his face. ‘And that’s it?’ he asked. ‘A cold?’ His eyes narrowed and he tried to push himself away from Robert, but his boyfriend wouldn’t let him. ‘You kept that from me? Why? Why do you _always_ do this?’

Robert sighed and let Aaron take his anger out on him. ‘Because I didn’t want you to worry.’

‘That’s no bloody excuse!’

‘Yes it is! Aaron, you’ve been pushing yourself so much the past month: what with Liv, and Christmas, and the business not doing so great right now. I—I just didn’t want to add to your worry.’

‘Add to—Robert, I thought you’d been having an _affair_.’ Robert flinched at that. ‘And then I had to hear from bloody Nicola that you and Jimmy both had been disappearing, then I found that _stupid_ letter, and I thought the worst… _that_ added to my worry!’

‘I’m sorry. I didn’t think, and then I hoped that everything would be done before you even got suspicious—’

‘So you weren’t even planning on _telling me_?’ His shoulders dropped. ‘Robert, I want to _know_ these things. I want to know when you’re hurting, or struggling, or when you need to go to the bloody hospital! What, did you think I wasn’t strong enough to handle it? After everything you told me earlier this year?’

_You’re the strongest person I know._

‘No, no, it wasn’t like that. I just didn’t want you to have to worry unnecessarily, or put off meetings so that you’d have to go to check-ups with me.’

‘I would have done that and more for you!’ Aaron sank back into Robert’s chest, not completely giving into another embrace, but halfway there. ‘Robert… you remember when you told me that I matter to you? Well, you matter to me, too.’ He breathed a laugh. ‘I love you, you idiot! I want to know these things! What would you have done, if it was _me_ keeping something like this from _you_?’

Robert ducked his head. ‘I would have gone mad.’ He looked back at Aaron again. ‘I’m sorry, Baby.’

Aaron nodded. ‘Okay. Just… just don’t do it again. If something’s wrong, I wanna know! I care about you, Robert.’ He returned his boyfriend’s hesitant smile. ‘What are you like, eh?’ He pulled Robert in and kissed him softly. He put a hand to his chest, looking at it, as if he could see the wound through the shirt. He knew it well enough that he could probably trace a perfect outline of it, could recall exactly how it felt, its smooth texture and the way that it bumped slightly still, even after all this time.

‘Hey.’ Robert’s voice drew him back to his eyes. ‘You okay?’

‘Yeah.’ He swallowed. ‘I wanna come with you. To the last check-up, I mean.’

Robert smiled. ‘Yeah, I’d like that.’

**Author's Note:**

> Come have a nosy on tumblr!: [Port in a Storm](http://www.portinastorm.tumblr.com)


End file.
